


Sanctify

by GhostDetective



Series: Downton Years [1]
Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Attraction, Class-Divide Relationship, Closeted Character, Forbidden Love, Internalised Homophobia, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Romance, Secret Relationship, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-14 12:39:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14769791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostDetective/pseuds/GhostDetective
Summary: So don't breakSanctify my body with painSanctify the love that you craveOh, and I won't, and I won't, and I won't be ashamedSanctify my sins when I pray





	Sanctify

**Author's Note:**

> I've wanted to do this song since it came out, Years and Years just fit Thomas-related ships so well and this one made me think of Thomas/Matthew. Enjoy.
> 
> Lyrics from a-z lyrics.

“In the night, you come to me  
'Cause I'm the one who knows who you are  
Give me your confession, saying  
Lately, life's been tearing you apart” 

Thomas paced the guest bedroom nervously, waiting for him to arrive. Thomas was risking his job, his home, everything to be here. His lover was risking disgrace, but he’d still inherit titles and an estate; he would be fine, once the scandal blew over. During the times when Thomas was alone, he almost questioned whether it was worth the risk, then his lover would meet him, would take him in his arms and kiss him and Thomas would again fall under his spell. There was something that drew them together, like magnets, an irresistible pull towards each other that neither could fight. 

Thomas turned as he heard the door open. He was half expecting to see Mrs Hughes or, heaven forbid, Mr Carson, who would want to know why he was up here, then Thomas would have to think on his feet to justify being upstairs at this hour, and in one of the bedrooms, no less. So when he looked over and saw the smiling face of Matthew Crawley, he was pleased and relieved. His heart beat fast as Matthew locked the door.  
“I’m sorry I’m late, Lord Grantham’s talk about managing the estate went on longer than I had thought.”  
Matthew stopped in front of Thomas, stroking his face, before pulling him into a desperate, hungry kiss that made Thomas’ head spin. They broke apart, panting.  
“That’s alright, I don’t think anyone will have missed me downstairs.”  
Matthew smiled.  
“Good. Let’s hope they don't miss you for a while longer.”  
He kissed Thomas again and led him towards the bed. 

“Walk through the fire with you  
'Cause I know how it can hurt  
Being cut into and afraid

So don't break  
Sanctify my body with pain  
Sanctify the love that you crave  
Oh, and I won't, and I won't, and I won't be ashamed  
Sanctify my sins when I pray”

Thomas screwed his eyes shut, fighting hard not to cry out with pleasure as Matthew ravished him. Matthew’s grip on Thomas’ hips was so hard he was sure Matthew would leave bruises. Luckily, they would be concealed by his livery. The thing it couldn’t conceal would be how difficult it would be for him to walk the next day, but faced with the prospect of being fucked by the very handsome Matthew Crawley, Thomas couldn’t bring himself to care. He gripped the bedsheets beneath him and tried to keep as quiet as he could as Matthew drove him closer to the edge. Thomas bit down on his knuckles as he neared his climax, then rode the wave of his orgasm as it took him. Thomas felt as though his bones had turned to marshmallow. A few more thrusts and Matthew followed him, muttering incoherently. He stilled, then collapsed onto Thomas, breathing heavily. 

Several moments passed, before Thomas regained the use of his limbs and went to get a towel to clean up after them. Matthew had redressed by the time Thomas had finished. They knew time was of the essence when having the clandestine meetings that they were. Thomas helped him to straighten his clothing, then Matthew went to the door and checked the corridor outside, looking both ways before leaving.

“You don't have to be straight with me  
I see what's underneath your mask  
I'm a man like you, I breathe the rituals of the dancer's dance” 

Thomas was no fool, he knew that he would never be more than Matthew Crawley’s dirty little secret, but it still amused him to watch Matthew lie to his family, play the dutiful husband and heir to Downton Abbey. Mr Prim and Proper, wouldn’t say boo, too good to shit, when Thomas knew the man he really was. Beneath the facade of the english gentleman, lurked a debauched, lustful creature with an unquenchable thirst for pleasure and Thomas was the one to bring it out; he felt a sense of pride in that. 

Matthew kept glancing at Thomas and Thomas could see the familiar glint in his eye that told him that Matthew wanted him. Thomas quirked his lip in a smirk, but quickly schooled his face into the servants’ blank before anyone else had the chance to notice what had transpired. Matthew asked Thomas to take his jacket up to him room; recognising the coded command, Thomas stepped forward, answering with a bow of his head and a “Yes, Mr Crawley.” Then he went to Matthew’s room and waited. Five minutes later, Matthew stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. Thomas barely had time to take in the sight of his lover, before Matthew made his move. 

“And there's fire in you  
And you know it's gonna hurt, being cut into  
And afraid 

So don't break  
Sanctify my body with pain  
Sanctify the love that you crave  
Oh, and I won't, and I won't, and I won't be ashamed  
Sanctify my sins when I pray” 

Matthew claimed Thomas’ lips in a passionate kiss, which Thomas responded to eagerly, pulling Matthew closer by his collar as he deepened the kiss. Matthew’s arms wrapped around his waist and he moaned softly. Thomas’s hands went to Matthew’s trousers and he began to kneel in front of him.  
“Wait,” Matthew gasped breathlessly. “The door’s not locked, we can’t do this now.”  
“So lock it.” Thomas purred, massaging the front of Matthew’s trousers. Matthew’s eyes fluttered closed and it clearly took all of his willpower to refuse Thomas’ offer.  
“The… The family will wonder where I am… Meet me in the guest bedroom tonight.”  
Thomas continued to tease Matthew, smirking, enjoying making Matthew squirm.  
“Please… Thomas… We can’t…”  
Thomas felt Matthew’s excitement growing, so he stopped, causing Matthew to whimper.  
“See you in the guest bedroom, _Captain Crawley._ ” Matthew shuddered. Thomas smirked and left the room. 

“You'll find redemption when all this is through  
Father, forgive me for finding the truth  
Love takes its toll on me, I'm just like you  
Maybe it's heavenly  
Maybe it's heavenly” 

It was easy for Matthew, much as the threat of exposure was very real to him, the upper classes had their way of keeping potential scandals quiet. Thomas wasn’t holding out for hush money, but he could find his employment terminated if their affair was discovered. Matthew may be sent away until the scandal died down, if Thomas made a fuss, but that would hurt Thomas more than it would Matthew, and Matthew would quickly find himself welcomed back into the fold once his title was confirmed. These things had a way of being forgiven. Matthew may be able to lie about who he was, but Thomas would always know. 

The door opened and Matthew stepped inside, closing and this time locking the door behind him. He turned to Thomas and crossed the room in seconds, pulling Thomas into an embrace and kissing him fervently. He pulled back and smiled mischievously, eyes glinting with lust.  
“Now, where were we?”  
Matthew’s hands went to Thomas’ uniform. Thomas slid Matthew’s dinner jacket off and loosened his tie, he then began the process of liberating Matthew of his shirt, their lips barely parting. Matthew made light work of Thomas’ livery and soon Thomas was standing in his underwear with Matthew’s body pressed against him. He led Matthew towards the bed and sat down. Thomas slowly unbuttoned Matthew’s trousers, their eyes locked. He tugged the fabric down and seductively undid the drawstring of Matthew’s shorts, letting them fall with his trousers. Matthew crawled on top of him on the bed, Thomas edged backwards to give them more room. Matthew smiled at him fondly, playfully easing the chord of Thomas’ shorts loose, he laid a kiss on the fabric, drawing it out, then took them off, throwing them to join the rest of their clothes. He climbed towards Thomas, then kissed him deeply. Thomas ran his fingers through Matthew’s hair and Matthew reached to the drawer beside the bed, taking the petroleum jelly out. Matthew pulled back.  
“Tell me if I’m hurting you.”  
Thomas nodded. 

Matthew prepared Thomas and eased himself in. Thomas wrapped his legs around Matthew’s back and tried his best not to make too much noise as Matthew began to move. Thomas’ eyes drifted closed and he lost himself in the sensations. He could hear Matthew gasping above him. He opened his eyes to watch him. Matthew’s hair framed his face like a golden halo and his blue eyes met Thomas’ with such affection. He looked angelic. Thomas was enthralled by his beauty. In that instant, he allowed himself to fantasise that this meant something more to Matthew, that he meant something more to Matthew, even though he knew his feelings couldn’t be returned. Matthew’s breathing became more shallow as he neared his climax and Thomas knew he wouldn’t be far behind. Matthew’s eyes fluttered closed as it became too much.  
“Oh Thomas… Thomas… I love you!”  
Thomas felt ecstasy crash over him like a wave, Matthew came with a barely muffled cry and Thomas immediately followed. 

They lay together, panting, before Matthew rolled off of Thomas and pulled him into his arms, resting his head on Thomas’ and holding him close. There they lay for several moments, looking at the ceiling. Matthew eventually broke the silence.  
“I meant what I said, Thomas. I do love you.”  
Thomas looked up and kissed Matthew’s lips.  
“And I love you, Matthew.”

“So don't break  
Sanctify my body with pain  
Sanctify the love that you crave  
Oh, and I won't, and I won't, and I won't be ashamed  
Sanctify my sins when I pray”


End file.
